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Parenting is a cult

Think about some common parent quotes – but replace “the baby” with “the Leader.”

  • I never knew love until I met the Leader.
  • I would do anything for the Leader.
  • The Leader gives my life meaning.
  • The Leader has made me lose many friends.
  • The Leader has made me feel like I have no identity.
  • Please don’t do that.  It will upset the Leader.
  • Sign on the door:  “Do not ring the bell.  Shhh.  The Leader is sleeping.”
  • Sign on your car: “The Leader is on board.”
  • I made three different lunches today, none of which were eaten, because the Leader didn’t like what I cooked.
  • The Leader takes up all my time and money.
  • I sat and cried in my car the first time I had to leave the Leader.
  • I’m staying in a loveless marriage for the Leader.
  • The Leader saved my life.
  • I sacrifice so much for my Leader.
  • How can you speak ill of my Leader?  How can you not want to join?
  • You don’t know tired until you know the Leader.
  • I promise my Leader – I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare and hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I LOVE YOU.
  • I won’t date you if the Leader doesn’t like you.

Now, I cannot take credit for this thought; it came from a social media group called Childfree by Choice.  But it certainly is an eye-opener.  When I chose to be child free, it didn’t occur to me that it would be anyone else’s business, or that I would be subject to so much judgement.  It’s astounding how freely criticism has been doled out over the years.  My own doctor refused to tie my tubes.  “You’ll change your mind.”  (No.  I have given this a great deal of thought and stick to the original decision made when I was 14)  In some cases the easiest route was to lie, and say I tried, but it wasn’t meant to be.  All of which brings us back to the cult mentality.  You MUST have children or be forever outcast?  No personal choice permitted?  Um, what the hell is that about?

Maybe – just maybe – the rest of the world is brainwashed.

Not a sleepy dusty Delta Day … but it was the 3rd of June.

When you wake up on a Sunday morning at 5:15 and the thoughts of “bacon” and “motorcycles” are the first thing to pop into your head, it’s time to get up and make them happen.

A recent trip to Colorado to visit my BFF and taste her amazing homemade bacon sealed the deal on the need to purchase a used Traeger.  It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time, and now with my better half fully on board we sourced and purchased smoky heaven a couple of weeks ago.  Finding pork belly, a week-long bath in salt, pepper, distilled water, maple syrup – smoked up on Saturday, chilled, and ready to slice and fry Sunday morning.  So, not just the usual bacon desire here, this was a bona fide anticipated moment.  The bacon was AMAZING and started out the day right.

Next on the agenda was not motorcycles; a sunny day but too cool for the bike, and we were running late (thank you, bacon clean up).  This particular Sunday included a couple of small errands and a charity run/fun walk.  Perfect weather for a sweet little girl who was diagnosed with infantile fibrosarcoma almost at birth.  She’s a cutie, and had a great day, running around hugging everyone.   We bought a bunch of raffle tickets and enjoyed everyone’s excitement at winning the 120 great prizes.  My husband won a seriously gorgeous photograph, finished as a painting.  It’s up in the living room.  Then they came to the very last prize.  By this time it’s almost 3:00 o’clock, we’re sunburned, hungry and thirsty, but no one is leaving because everyone wants the grand prize – over $600 in scratch tickets.  The ticket is pulled and MY NAME IS CALLED.  But wait – there’s two people with the same name – stop, wait, verify – yup, it’s me.


We drove home elated.  Next on the agenda – motorcycles!

If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you know about Etta and the Do I Ride Now issue, which has stretched on for four years, for various reasons.  Trying to ride again has been on my mind, but the whole idea has been back-burnered due to having way too much to do in way too little time.  (Not quite ready to give up sleep yet, although that would solve the time issue).  Himself has been riding and enjoying Etta, making certain she’s in good running condition with fresh gas.  He also changed the handlebars to some that are much more stable, forgiving and rideable.  Those others were pretty, but safe is way more important.  So around 4:30 or so he rode Etta down to the nearest big parking lot, then sat in Tina and watched me practice.  It went great, much better than last time.  So good that I rode home – and can’t wait to ride again.  That fear is behind me now, and it feels like something in my head is healed.  My husband is proud of me.  I’m proud of me.  I’ll ride again soon.

After a dinner of leftover smoked brisket hash and eggs, we started scratching those tickets.  No big winners yet, we were tired and got halfway through the pile before giving into exhaustion and heading for bed.

Fell asleep thinking I’m the luckiest woman alive.  Winning at everything again.  Especially bacon and motorcycles, the best kind of Sunday.