Random quotes collected over the years, no particular order or importance.
Quotes I love:
- Frida Kahlo told her husband, “I’m not asking you to kiss me, nor apologize to me when I think you’re wrong. I won’t even ask you to hug me when I need it most. I don’t ask you to tell me how beautiful I am, even if it’s a lie, nor write me anything beautiful. I won’t even ask you to call me to tell me how your day went, nor tell me you miss me. I won’t ask you to thank me for everything I do for you, nor to care about me when my soul is down, and of course, I won’t ask you to support me in my decisions. I won’t even ask you to listen to me when I have a thousand stories to tell you. I won’t ask you to do anything, not even be by my side forever. Because if I have to ask you, I don’t want it anymore.”
- One thing that has really stood out to me through this though is how GOOD everyone else is at knowing the exact right thing to say. I have never been good at that. If someone is going through a crisis, my heart might break for them but I don’t know how to do anything but mumble shy well wishes and avoid them at all costs. – Buggie
- Hear me CLEARLY – you didn’t just own YOUR shit, you borrowed shit from every cow pile in your life and accepted it and tried to claim it as your short-coming. – DivaMom
- If a man hits you on the head with his stick, every time you remember that, you hit yourself on the head. With his stick.
- Try not to use a bazooka to kill a fly.
- Fact: If an addict is happy with you, you’re probably enabling them. If an addict is mad at you, you’re probably trying to save their life.
- “My path is lit by the burning bridges behind me.”
- “I have yet to meet a man I couldn’t live without.”
- Once you’ve had unconditional love, ‘regular’ love just doesn’t cut it.
- Cruisin’ for an emotionally co-dependent shitstorm
- “But why does everyone want a fucking medal and a gold star for doing what they SHOULD do? That earns you NOTHING, that is your OBLIGATION. So spare me the pat on your own back. It’s just a simple as wiping your ass after you shit, I’m not going to congratulate you for having decency and common sense.”
- Hate is just a different form of love – it requires your energy and participation. Not worth it.
- He wants to be right – you can give him that. You want to be happy – and you can give yourself that as well. Keep telling him he is right – it’s like telling a bratty whining child they are right just to shut them up and get them to go away – and because you don’t really care what they think ANYWAYS. conditional love – right – used him – right – agree, agree, agree. because he isn’t listening to a word you say/text/type anyways – he just wants to be heard, and it really is taking back your control – when you explain yourself or argue with him you are saying that you need his approval (that’s why people argue) – and you don’t need his approval. You just need his signature. He is far more concerned about being right – you watch how quick he claps his trap when you tell him he is right.
- He messages to hurt, not to resolve, not to inform
- Learn to love what’s good for you.
- I am an ADULT. I have worked my ASS off to be healthy and to learn and grow and handle my own shit. I do NOT need to take on a partner and baby-step them through what I’ve already done. I just don’t. Not only that, I’m busy with my own life. I don’t have time OR energy to raise a man. I don’t want to. I don’t want to have to. I feel like I’m bringing a pretty well put-together woman to the table and I want to sit down across from someone who’s also put together. On his own.
- AndreaD: Oh, no way in hell I’m going down that road again. I’ve been all the way down it. It’s a dead end and it ends in a sewer and a swamp.
- “He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” — Bob Marley
- Posted by a friend “you can never be good enough for a bad man. No matter how much you love his dirty drawers or have his back you will never be good enough to make him want to do right if his character ain’t right to begin with.” And THAT my friends is the farking TRUTH.
- One definition of codependent is “people whose lives had become unmanageable as a result of living in a committed relationship with an alcoholic.” We now know that “alcoholic” behavior is similar with any additive behavior. So picture a codependent who is addicted to YOU … with all of the addictive behavior, the controlling, the obsession, worrying, manipulation, shame, trying to please, anger at failure, and resentment … and you have my ex. The only way I can describe him is that he was in a committed relationship with me, as well as being codependent on me for every sensation and 100% caught up in trying to get me to react. It was exhausting, unhealthy and unsustainable.
- My EX “just wanted to talk to me” for the entire duration of our divorce proceedings. Unfortunately, he was a great salesman too – and “just talking” meant he just wanted another opportunity to convince me of how wrong I was for wanting a divorce. He’d tell people, “This doesn’t have to be so ugly, I don’t understand why she won’t just talk to me.” but those other people didn’t understand that the reason he felt things didn’t need to be ugly is because as far as he was concerned, this whole conflict would be solved by us getting back together and all he needed was a little more time and talk to convince me of that. He didn’t mean negotiating a property settlement “didn’t need to be ugly”. He meant THIS WHOLE UGLY THING WAS UNNECESSARY. I’m not even saying that in a bad way. It just was what it was. The only thing he wanted to talk about was changing my mind.” – stchoubie
- If someone is a drag on me, I cut them out. If someone lifts me up, I bring them closer. Nobody is sacred here. When the plane is going down, put the oxygen mask on your face first. Family, friends, people I love—I always try to be there for them and help. But I don’t get close to anyone bringing me down. This rule can’t be broken. Energy leaks out of you if someone is draining you. And I never owe anyone an explanation. Explaining is draining. ― James Altucher
- It’s not always possible to cut someone out of your life, even if they are a drain on your energy. The better thing to do, I think, is to develop a skill set that empowers you to rise above. That’s growth. – Michael Biesemeyer
- “Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul”
- He didn’t do all that fix-it stuff for his WIFE…. his fucking WIFE, for crying in the night… he did it to save his own ass and to make him feel better about HIMSELF – DivaMom
- We gave you every opportunity to clean your soiled underpants, and you just keep shitting in them.
- Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
- I don’t watch porn. But for the same reason, I don’t watch:
1. Nancy Grace and the like (consider it “grief porn”);
2. Reality TV shows that are designed to make you feel superior to or have contempt for the people featured (like Honey Boo Boo or Jersey Shore);
3. Crime dramas that focus a lot on gore or shocking crimes (like The Following or Law & Order SVU).
Really, there is no good reason to watch any of that stuff except to titillate ourselves in a kinda cheap way. I think when we fill our minds with garbage, we are “getting off” (literally or figuratively) on the wrong things.
Why not focus on the blessings that surround us and celebrate them? – cmac
- “I’m old enough to make my own mistakes. Stop it. If you’re having trouble getting over my choices, go see a therapist.” – Lisa
- It’s important to be able to dislike things our partners do, without disapproving of our partner. -Mattie
- “If you cannot say it in one sentence DON’T say it. After one sentence it’s all emotion.”
- Watch out for half-truths. You may have gotten ahold of the wrong half.
- I see people who just don’t think that being rude and unpleasant should be held against them afterwards, and therefore say whatever they want, whenever they want. I also blame reality TV. It’s cool to be wretched and nasty, and unapologetic for it. I don’t try to be PC – but I do have manners, and unfortunately, a lot of people don’t recognize the difference anymore. – Shan
- It’s impossible to move on when you’re still trying to “right a wrong.” Sometimes you just have to let it go.
- “I can’t spend your love at the grocery store. I need some security.” –Etta James.
- We that do not have children have a responsibility to live the life that those with children wish they could live. – twoshovels
- I am sensitive. I have feelings. I just don’t go around bashing people over the head with them because that isn’t sensitivity, that is emotional blackmail. – HRB
- No stepping on me for a leg up.
- Fact: it is impossible for a perfectly healthy sane person to be in a relationship with someone who is mentally unhealthy. Oh, you can work with them and suffer through it and empathize with all of it…but eventually? Eventually, you’ve just had ENOUGH and you realize that it’s not your fault, and YES you do deserve to live in peace in a healthy way of your OWN making. – Socal
- Live without pretending. Love without depending. Listen without defending. Speak without offending. – Drake
- I’m single. And someone’s going to have to be fucking amazing to change that.
- I’m not perfect, and I don’t expect you to be.
- This wouldn’t be an issue if you didn’t have tits. – Socal
- I love me some sex. Sex is great. Sex is one of my favorite pastimes. But you wake me up from a sound sleep for sex, it better be because you’ve just been told we have minutes to live. – AndreaD
- “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”
- You want to be your own person, he wants to be your person – Mary
- Why do people say “grow some balls?” Balls are weak and sensitive, if you wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.—Betty White
- “Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you.” – Thank you Sumumba Neely !!
- “Older men now, are just men our age later” – Mary
- The filter between my mouth and brain is so clogged that everything just seems to pour over the top and around the sides now. – HR
- I know this one!! It’s the *snap fingers* “You are an adult now, start acting like one!!”….even though no one has laid a drip of groundwork for the kid to behave like an adult. – Wowzy
- I do my thing, you do your thing … I am not in this world to live up to your expectations … And you are not in the world to live up to mine.. I am I …And you are you …And if by chance we find each other….It’s beautiful…
- “If I ever get around to boyfriend number two, he better have a busy life full of his own hobbies and goals, because I will not be someone’s reason to exhale. I have better things to do then entertain a full grown man when I’m not getting paid for it. “— HBI Member, Gabriela
- Stupidity is a defect; laziness is a choice!!! I can forgive your actions if you are a genuinely stupid person, but if you opt to screw it up because you are just genuinely lazy then I shall make your life hell!!! 😉 – Patty Rice
- What obligation do I have to anyone who expects something out of me that I’m not willing to give?
- “Yeah I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes, but you put yourself in those shoes so you have to walk your way out of them” LeighAnn
- It’s like beating the shit out of your wife then buying her diamonds to make up for it. Great! She has gorgeous jewelry now but she’s still gonna get her ass kicked again if she stays.
- Stupidity, as in genuinely stupid people, can’t learn any different or do any different whereas lazy people just need to get off their behinds and do something. However if they are stupid AND lazy, just hope they don’t breed. – Toni Corvo Noble
- How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
- ~~~When we are urged to practice detachment, it never means disinterest. The purpose of emotional detachment is to keep myself free from being drawn into crisis of other peoples making.~~~
- “That boy’s gonna be 30 before he knows it and all he’ll have to show for it is a neck full of hickeys and a retail staff discount” – Socal
- Management is not leadership: We manage things and lead people
- “If you spit in the face of a crazy person, all you end up with is a wet crazy person” – LD
- “Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing; Sometimes the best move you make is none at all. Which is why it’s possible to do the right thing without even trying.” – Lou Spagnola
- I suck so much I could get a second job as a vacuum. – HR
- “Good bread, good meat, good God, let’s eat!”
- Thank God I’m shallow or I’d have to evaluate these feelings – Socal
- You deserve happiness, you deserve a good husband, you deserve someone who will treat you right and step up to the plate, EVERY SINGLE TIME, not just when they want something.
- The longer you keep what belongs to him, the longer you keep him in your life. – Celt
- HBI: After learning things about him… things that turned my stomach…. I remained married to a man for 2 years because he hadn’t hit me or cheated on me… and because I made a commitment. Someone finally said to me… “You are aware that he broke his vows.. right? You know he vowed to love, honor, and cherish you… Not just to be non-violent and keep his dick in his pants… right? Do you FEEL honored, loved, or cherished right now? If all you are committed to is a commitment… why do you need HIM around?”
- Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
- Temptation usually comes in to doors that are left wide open. – Reader’s Digest
- Question yourself. You’ll probably find some interesting answers. – me
- “Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”
- “Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. “Richard M. Nixon (1913 – 1994), in his White House farewell
- You don’t have to go to every fight you’re invited to.
- If you can’t laugh at yourself, let me do it for you.
- I am lucky enough that my biggest temptation has more willpower than I do.
- LD, about cousin Ed’s passing: Goodbye, Ed. If our Gigi loved and admired you, that’s all I need to know to have the measure of your life.
- Celtsias from HBI: Either you adopt a policy of respecting yourself or you adapt to a life without one.
- Megan’s Rope Story: And again I am reminded of that rope story – the one where the guy throws you a rope and tells you to hold on and then jumps over the edge of a bridge. He refuses to help himself, will not climb up but keeps telling you it’s your responsibility to keep him alive, even though it puts your own life in peril.
- “Don’t explain. Friends don’t need it and enemies won’t believe you anyways.” – Sister
- Teach me, and I’ll remember today. Show me, and I’ll remember tomorrow. Allow me to discover, and I’ll remember forever.” – montessori education website
- Being a victim really isn’t as much fun as being empowered – Nancy
- I used to look him dead in the eye and say: “Hey. Are you mad at me or BB? Because you are not allowed to chew on me just because you’re mad at her.” Took a couple of years, but he’s much better now about setting aside his anger and not ‘kicking the dog’. Oh, yeah, the psychologists call it ‘displacement’. It’s not safe to be angry with the real object, so you shift your anger to someone/something that’s safe to be angry with. – LD
- I kinda feel like Pavlov’s dog sometimes … once you get burned a hundred times, you stop reaching for that fire … – Gigi
- You can kill someone with a safety pin… you just gotta stab them more often… – DivaMom
- “Any ass can fart an opinion.”
- I didn’t intend to piss you off. However, I am not going to take shit just because someone serves it to me. Of course it was volatile. She had made a fucking mess and didn’t want to clean it up. You on the other hand had to try and be the class clown, a role we hardly need in this place. You just want to be the centre of attention don’t you? So here’s a fucking blazing spotlight. Oh and by the way, I did laugh. It was at you though, not your “joke”. HBI
- I cannot STAND it when a man can’t make a decision. I was married to that guy before, I don’t want to be again. STOP ASKING ME what I want to eat or how I feel about things I frankly don’t give a rat’s ass about and just DO IT! I hate debating the minutia of everyday life.
- “Helping” is doing something for someone that they are incapable of doing for themselves and that “Enabling” is doing things someone should darned well be doing for themselves” http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/troubled_teens/72746
- “Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget the one’s who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life… let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.”
- “I’m not disappointed, not exactly. I am just a little dismayed. I suppose the downfall of my domestic utopia started 5 minutes after I got married. I didn’t marry Ward Cleaver or even Mr. Brady. I married an entirely different man who was just as lost as I was. And we stayed lost together. For awhile it was great, better than great because I really believed that I began where he ended and vice versa. Eventually though, that seam wore away and I saw it was just Lost Me and Lost Him, tied with a gold band and a lot of promises we weren’t able to keep to each other. ” – HR
- “Expectations… are just premeditated resentments.”
- The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.
- The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
- Be ALIVE while you are alive. — George Carlin
- Hit the gas or be last
- Most men will follow their peckers into the meat grinder.
- “Don’t F*ck with the woman your Daddy is F*cking” – ForeverAmber
- “Men don’t lie, they just remember big” – Queenie’s ex
- Ride with it, just don’t ride bitch
- Yeah, shit happens, but surrounding yourself with assholes like that and whining about it is like wading in the bottom of an outhouse and wondering where the smell is coming from.
- if you have to hit someone in the face with the sign, they probably aren’t going to bother reading it anyway
- the brain is connected to the spine. Try to get them working in tandem for a change.
- Now, let’s get back to the heart of the issue, shall we? Since you can only dance your way around it, let me lead.
- “I’m an independent whole. If I decide to friend, love, or belong to someone else, is my decision and it’s because I want to grow bigger with them, I want to add them to my world and be part of theirs – not to fill some fucking hole in either of us.”
- Allow me to add my stone to this tower of posts.
- “I don’t have to have a reason to like you. I don’t have to have a reason to hate you. And even when I do have a reason, I don’t have to let you in on it.”
- I think that once we realized that it’s usually a misunderstanding and not some unresolvable core issue, we found it was easier to get it out of the way rather than let it fester. – softail
- Latingirl – “there’s a reason why they used to say ‘she’s gone mad’ to mean ‘she’s gone crazy.’ Mad makes you crazy.
- Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
- Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein
- “If there were to be a universal sound depicting peace, I would surely vote for the purr.” ~ Barbara L. Diamond
- What EDGE does a razor have if it’s been used so very many times before?
- – At this point, I would say… “you know what, let me make this easy for you.” And I’d leave.
- comparable to a cow; if you keep it locked up long enough, when you set it free, it doesn’t know what to do, or where to go. Just stands there, confused.
- Megan – Don’t get caught up in what’s right, what’s fair, what’s best – instead accept what is and make the best of it.
- There is nothing that gets under my skin more than someone who is paralyzed by a fear of failure – and then makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy by not doing the minimum work required to succeed. LXH was an excellent surveyor but would never do what it took to get his PE. He preferred to sit around for hours at night and talk about how everyone at work was screwing him.
- Boundaries: Just remember that boundaries are for you, what you are willing to accept and not accept. They are not for controlling another person. That is what was the hardest for me. I always need to check my motivation when I make a boundary. The next hardest thing for me was to enforce it. Being raised in an alcoholic home, we had no boundaries. Looking back, I can see where I never recognized other peoples’ boundaries and I was constantly pushing at them if I didn’t like them. Once I decided to make boundaries with my family, I decided which was the most important, the one I needed to preserve my sanity, and I made that boundary. Now I find that I don’t make a whole lot of boundaries, but I think long and hard on the ones I do make. Also, if they don’t work for me or I have attempted to control another person, I abandon the boundary.
- “You’ve been divorced for nine years. I’ll give you a few more minutes to process that.”
- But you know, sometimes shit just sticks where it gets thrown, and there is no resolution but time and your own personal resolve not to throw more…
- Stchoub – I think humans have, for the most part, lost their true animal instinct to protect their young. How many bears do you know that would just sit there and say, “Oh, something is threatening my cub… maybe the park ranger will do something about it.”
- You won’t win some mystical MEDAL of DEVOTION and SACRIFICE by putting up with his sh*t. All you will get is bitterness and lack of joy in your life.
- “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” — Marcus Aurelius
- How easy it is to care about those who don’t extend the same courtesy to themselves-let alone return the favor.
On this day I will look at my past mistakes and project them onto the future.
Today I will create a crisis situation so I can feel really alive.
I have a right to be physically unattractive.
I will make spiritual bankruptcy my goal for the day.
I have a right to change people into who I want them to be.
Today I will belittle those around me as I’ve been belittled in the past.
Extreme mood swings are my goal for the day, as they are so invigorating.
I have a right to seek revenge on those who have hurt me, and so today I’ll begin to intricately plot against them.
Today I will surround myself with unhealthy people so that I may feel superior to them.
Today I celebrate the fact that my underdeveloped sense of identity allows me to fit into a wide range of situations.
Today I will only do things for which I receive very clear approval or applause.
My choices are limited; therefore, I must rigidly stick to the plan I have outlined for myself.
Today I will start a project only so I can later abandon it because of my perfectionistic standards.
Today I will lie in bed and wallow in self-pity.
Today I will purposefully fuel someone’s worst fears.
While in conversation today, I will practice keeping a mental inventory of other people’s stupidity.
Today I will practice playing the victim with my friends and coworkers.
This year I will save money by not buying birthday cards for anyone; I will tell everyone their card must have been lost in the mail.
I have the hardest life.
Today I will hoard something I was denied as a child.
So everything is a question of training and the power of habit. Devote the mind to confusion and we know only too well, if we’re honest, that it will become a dark master of confusion, adept in its addictions, subtle and perversely supple in its slaveries. Devote it in meditation to the task of freeing itself from illusion, and we will find that with time, patience, discipline, and the right training, the mind will begin to unknot itself and know its essential bliss and clarity.